So the week is over. I am only two weeks away until summer, i love the students i work with and adore work husband JP but I need a break from all of them. I need time to spend with my house, my dog and my man JT. I need time with myself. I know the lack of routine will be challenging for me but i am sooooo looking forward to it.
I have OCD, to be exact anxiety-depression with OCD, a nice mix of mood disorder. My OCD comes in the form of obsessive thoughts and worries and will often physical manifest itself in skin picking, gross. So with the stress of IVF coming up, the end of school, and working on my own school work I am stressed. My OCD is going bonkers!!! my skin is not looking so good :( To combat this I have decided to treat myself to some gel nails, i did it this afternoon and they look lovely! i feel so feminine with them and the bonus is i cant pick :)
This weekend I am going to a baby shower, yes a baby shower an event most of us struggling with fertility loath or feel saddened by. The shower is for my oldest friend S I have known her since I was a baby, we have grown apart as the years have gone by, as people can do,but the bond still exists. Plus our mothers are best friends. So i am going to put on my best brave face and a pretty skirt to go with my pretty nails. I am going to smile when I see her with her beautiful belly, ohh and ahh at baby gifts and save my tears for when i am alone. It is such a strange emotion going to these evens for those I love. I am truly happy for them, filled with joy but a piece of me aches so much it feels like a huge deep burning hole.
So that is where i am at, this is my Friday. Good night friends.
L.
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